Uselessly OOC Fluff
by Scarlet Grizzly
Summary: Exactly what the title implies. What if James Potter and Severus Snape had not fought with each other when they first met? One-shots of Severus's life as a Gryffindor and a Marauder.
1. First Impressions

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad." The boy with messy black hair pantomimed an imaginary sword, and Severus Snape bit back a laugh. A slight snort escaped however, and the boy rounded on Snape.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Severus, sneering slightly. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" The other boy who'd been sitting in the compartment with them smirked.

The first boy smiled, but a sudden thought seemed to strike him. "So why'd you say Slytherin then? Everyone knows Ravenclaw's where the smart people go. Slytherins always get in trouble for hexing people."

"Do they now?" Severus mumbled, his attention only half-focused on them. He was more concerned with Lily.

Lily however, was listening to the boys. "What do you mean, hexing people?"

"Anyone who doesn't meet their standard for 'purity.'" The boy with long black hair rolled his eyes. "It's a load of dung, if you ask me, but my family hates anyone who's got nonmagical blood, and even some purebloods. Slytherin's full of people like them."

"That's awful!" Lily gasped. She turned to Severus. "Severus, I don't think we should be in Slytherin!"

"Lily-" Severus began, but his friend was on a roll.

"What are the others Houses like?" She asked the two boys. "My name's Lily Evans, by the way, and he's Severus Snape." She gestured to Snape, who shrugged.

"James Potter." The messy-haired boy replied.

"Black. Sirius Black." The other inclined his head to Lily.

"Seriously?" Severus sniggered.

"No, just Sirius." Sirius replied with a barking laugh. "'Sides, your name's just as funny as mine."

"Anyways…" James cleared his throat. "Like I said, Ravenclaw's the House for all the smart people…


	2. The Sorting Hat

_Hm… I sense much ambition in you, Mr. Snape. But your intellect would do you good in Ravenclaw as well…_

Severus Snape felt a bead of sweat trickle down his neck as the Sorting Hat on his head rambled on. He'd been sitting on the uncomfortable stool for what seemed like an eternity, listening to a sentient dishrag harp on about his various character traits. The young boy thought he could hear the whispers of the Great Hall, as they wondered why he was taking so long to be Sorted. Surely they wouldn't make him leave Hogwarts, would they? He was perfectly capable of magic, there was no reason they'd turn him away, even if he was a half-blood…

 _-however, you are braver than you know… Well, it's obvious where you belong then-_

"GRYFFINDOR!" The Sorting Hat bellowed, and the table to the far left exploded into a cacophony of applause. Two older boys with dark red hair were whistling loudly, and Severus blinked in surprise. The rowdy crowd of meat headed brawlers his mother had told him about seemed to actually be happy that he was among their number now.

The stern-faced witch who had taken the hat off Severus's head smiled and nodded to him as he stumbled toward the table of Gryffindors. His eyes immediately went to Lily's, who was beaming with delight. Next to her were James Potter and Sirius Black, who waved to him.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all…


	3. Midnight Snacks

Severus was wrong. It was very bad.

On the surface, none of his fellow Gryffindor first years had any glaring issues. James Potter was friendly enough, but he and his best friend, Sirius Black, had a knack for getting in trouble and losing all the points Severus earned. Barely a month into school, they had earned several detentions for various acts of destruction.

Peter Pettigrew, a tiny boy with watery eyes, was painfully shy and awkward, and often followed the others around like a lost puppy. Which the other boys didn't seem to mind, but Severus found it very annoying.

And then there was Remus Lupin. He was quiet, smart, and polite. By all rights, Severus should have been at ease around him, even friends with the boy. But something about him didn't seem quite right. Perhaps it was that he was sick all the time, or that he took great care not to undress in front of others, but Severus had a feeling that Lupin was hiding something.

Still, Severus would have been quite content to let sleeping dogs lie. His mother had been indifferent to his being Sorted into Gryffindor, like she was about most things, but it was better than being scolded for not getting into Slytherin or Ravenclaw. He was far away from Tobias. Best of all, he was in the same House as his best friend. The problem was, the dogs wouldn't sleep.

"Psst! Sev, wake up!" James's voice roused Severus from his thoughts. He heard Sirius sniggering and sighed.

"Only my friends call me Sev." Severus grumbled as he pulled back the curtain around his four poster bed. He wasn't sure why he said friends as in the plural sense, only Lily called him Sev, and come to think of it, she was his only-

"We're your friends, aren't we?" Peter smiled, showing a gap where one of his front teeth had been knocked out by Mulciber.

Severus glared balefully at the other four boys. "What do you want?"

"We're going to the kitchen for a midnight snack!" Sirius grinned.

"We?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, we." James said impatiently. "Look, we even got Remus to come along, we might as well complete the set."

"Complete the set?" Severus was quite tired, and was getting more and more irritated. "Is that all I am now, one of a set?"

"No, you prat!" James rolled his eyes. "I just meant it would be rude to leave you out when the rest of us are going. And McGonagall did say our House would be like our family while we're here."

"They're not going to stop until you agree to go." Remus spoke for the first time, his voice low and scratchy from disuse. "Why d'you think I'm going?"

Severus scowled. "Fine. But if we get caught, I'm not going to rest until I've learned that Curse of the Bogies Professor Dawlish mentioned and used it on you."

"We're not going to get caught." James scoffed as he pulled a silvery fabric from his trunk. "We've got this."

Severus's eyes widened as he realized what it was. "How-how did you get an Invisibility Cloak?!"

"Nicked it from my dad." James said proudly, pulling the cloak over his messy head. "He won't notice, it's his spare one."

"There's five of us, though." Remus pointed out. "Will we all fit?"

"Sure." Sirius said as he joined James under the cloak. "It's a pretty big cloak."

"We're so getting expelled for this." Severus moaned. Despite his gloomy words though, he couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement at the thought of discovering a secret location in the castle. His mother had never mentioned the kitchens, likely because she had never been there herself.


	4. Happy Christmas

"Wake up, Sev!" James shook Severus awake. "We've got presents!"

"Wha…" Severus blinked the sleep from his eyes. "Presents?"

"You know, when people send you nice stuff because it's a special day?" Sirius said as if Severus were a particularly thick child. He was sitting at the foot of his bed, rummaging through a small pile of parcels. "Oh look, Reg sent me a dung bomb."

Severus looked at his own pile, which was around the same size as Sirius's. He picked up the one at the top of the stack, and wasn't surprised to see that it was from Lily, who had gone home for the holidays. Severus had decided to stay at Hogwarts, along with James and Sirius. The other two boys in their dormitory had also gone home.

Lily's present to Severus had been a book on Potions that he had been meaning to get for several weeks now, and was easily the best gift in his opinion. He'd also received a Gobstones set from his mother and a pack of cigarettes from Tobias.

Much to Severus's surprise however, he also got a box of chocolates from Remus, a new quill from Peter, a Gryffindor scarf from James, and oddly enough, some slightly stale cookies from Sirius that he suspected had been nicked from the kitchens. "You got me presents?" He turned to his roommates, surprised.

"Well, yeah." James said as if it were obvious. "That's what friends do." He dug through his pile of presents, which was at least the size of Severus's and Sirius's combined. "Anything good?"

"A dung bomb from my little brother, and some butter beer from my Uncle Alphard. Oh, and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from Remus." Sirius remarked. "What about you, Sev?"

"My father sent some cigarettes." Severus held up the box with distaste.

"What're those?" Sirius stared at the paper box.

"Bad for you." Severus tossed the cigarettes to Sirius. "You can smoke them, but they'll wreck your lungs."

"Wicked." Sirius grinned. "Can I keep them then?"

"Sure." Severus scoffed. At least it would save him the trouble of having to find a present for Sirius. Now he just had to get one for James. "Happy Christmas."


	5. The Marauders' Pact

"We're the Marauders!" Sirius happily proclaimed as he, Sirius, James, and Peter walked through the hole into the Gryffindor common room.

"You don't even know what a 'marauder' is." Sev shook his head. Professor McGonagall had exasperatedly called them ""a band of roving marauders" after yet another disastrous Transfiguration class, and Sirius was delighted with the name.

"Who cares? It sounds cool." James ran his hand through his hair, a habit he'd picked up after he became a reserve Chaser on the Quidditch team. Though he was only a second year, he was talented enough to earn a spot. Unfortunately, this had inflated his ego quite a bit, and he'd taken to ruffling up his hair as though he'd just been flying.

"Where's Remus?" Peter asked absently.

"Gone home to his sick mum again." Sirius yawned as they entered their dormitory. "Oh damn, I forgot we have that Astronomy lesson tonight." He groaned as he threw himself into his bed.

"The full moon does only show up at night…" Sev's voice trailed off as a horrifying thought struck him. "Hang on, isn't Remus _never_ around for the full moon? He's always going home at this time of month."

"What're you talking about, Sev?" James gave him a puzzled look.

"Think about it." Sev began pacing. "Every month, Remus gets sick. He'll be sniffling in class and it drives me mad. And then, during the full moon, he goes home to take care of his mum?"

"You don't think-" Sirius frowned.

"Mrs. Lupin is a werewolf?" Peter gasped.

"No!" Sev shook his head. "That's idiotic. How would a child take care of a werewolf without getting killed? Remus is the werewolf, not his mother!"

"Are you sure, Sev?" James asked quietly. "That's some pretty serious stuff."

"Have any of us ever seen Remus take off his shirt?" Sev pointed out. "I'm pretty sure it's because he's got some scars."

"Wicked." Sirius grinned.

"No, it's not wicked." Sev snapped. "Werewolves are extremely dangerous."

"Werewolves are, but Remus isn't." James shook his head. "We've lived with him for a year and a half, and none of us has even seen Remus as a wolf, let alone get mauled to death."

"Plus, he folds his own socks." Peter added. The others turned to stare at him. "What? Am I not the only one who finds that unintimidating?"

"I'm surprised you know what unintimidating means." Sirius replied.

"I'm pretty sure it's not a real word." James commented before turning to Sev. "So what're you going to do about Remus?"

"I don't know." Sev admitted. "I'm not going to tell anyone, that's for sure. It would ruin his life, and he hasn't done anything yet."

"And he won't do anything." Sirius's eyes blazed. "We are the Marauders, and we look after our own. Remus is our friend, and we're going to make sure he doesn't have to worry about his werewolfism."

"I think you mean lycanthropy." James corrected Sirius.

"Are we really going to call ourselves the Marauders?" Snape groaned.


	6. Twins

The Prewett brothers use a Scourgify Charm on Snape's hair, and all day, people "mistake" him for Sirius. Neither boy is amused.

"Scourgify!"

Sev yelped as he felt a wet sensation on the top of his head. He felt his hair, which was damp and slippery. When he pulled his hand away, it was covered in soapy suds.

"A great improvement from young Master Snape's normal state, if I do say so myself, Gideon." Sev whirled around to glare at seventh-year Fabian Prewett, who was twirling his wand between his fingers with a devious grin on his face.

"Eh, I think it needs some work, Fabian." Gideon, Fabian's constant companion and younger brother by a year, flicked his wand, and Sev felt his scalp heat up.

"Are you two done yet?" Sev deadpanned, not amused, but not really irritated either. The Prewett brothers were mischievous, but never really on the same level as the Marauders. Still, James and Sirius credited the two with inspiring the "younger generation" to become pranksters.

"Oh, quite so." Fabian laughed.

"You look simply marvelous, Mr. Bla- I mean Snape." Gideon sniggered. The two redheads sauntered off, chortling.

"Hey, Sirius, have you seen James?" Sev turned around to look at Remus, who jumped back in shock. "Sev?!"

"What." Sev frowned. While he and Sirius both had long black hair, no one ever mistook them for the other. The former's raven locks fell straight about his face, while the latter's was thicker and wavy. That, and Sev tended to slouch while Sirius strutted around like a peacock.

"Your hair!" Remus pointed with wide eyes. "It looks…"

Sev quickly felt his hair, realizing what the Prewett brothers had done. "They curled my hair!"

"Hi, Sirius." Marlene McKinnon gushed as she sidled up to the two boys, probably intending to ask Sirius to take her to Hogsmeade next weekend. She took a step back in shock when Sev turned around. "Oh!"

"Sorry to disappoint." Sev gritted his teeth. It hadn't even been ten minutes, and it was already getting old.

"Sev!" Sirius Black's voice sounded from the other side of the common room. "They got you too?"

Sev turned to see Sirius Black with slightly greasy hair falling in thick curtains to his shoulders. "So it seems." The sallow-skinned boy made a mental note to wash his hair more often. Tobias Snape had gifted him with almost preternaturally disgusting locks, and it seemed showering every other day wasn't going to cut it.

"Hey, Sirius." Sev turned for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, intending to tell off whichever girl was trying to seduce his friend. Instead, he found himself looking into Lily's brilliant green eyes, which were crinkled with mirth. At least she could tell who it really was under the change of hairstyle.

Sev raised an eyebrow as he stared at his oldest friend. "Et tu, Lily?"


	7. Animagi

Sev grimaced as he felt bones and muscles twist and reshape under his skin, feathers sprouting from his flesh. It wasn't as agonizing as the first time he'd transformed, which had felt as though every bone in his body were breaking at once. Nevertheless, it wasn't a pleasant sensation.

Besides him, James, Sirius, and Peter all shifted and blurred, becoming a stag, dog, and rat, respectively. A wry smile touched Sev's lips as he remembered the day they had all first discovered their forms

"We should make nicknames for ourselves!" James exclaimed. "I'll be Prongs, cause of my antlers."

"You can't be serious." Sev stared at the bespectacled boy.

"Yeah, I'm Sirius." Sirius laughed as the others groaned loudly, having heard this joke far too many times over the years. "But you can call me Padfoot." He said with a wink, referencing the paws of his canine animagus.

"Those are ridiculous nicknames." Sev protested. "Real nicknames are supposed to have an aura of mystique about them."

"What's yours then?" Sirius asked.

"The Half-Blood Prince." Sev said with a touch of pride. He'd come up with that after much thought early in fifth year. His face fell as he noticed that the other four Marauders were looking unimpressed.

"It's a little… long?" Peter said weakly, attempting to be polite.

"Sounds dumb." James yawned.

"Why Prince?" Remus scratched his head.

"I like the 'Half-Blood' part." Sirius grinned.

"Prince is my mother's maiden name." Sev explained. "I don't really get on with my father, and he's a Muggle. Hence the Half-Blood Prince."

"Yeah, family sucks." Sirius shot Sev a sympathetic look. "But we're thinking we should have a common theme with our nicknames. Something that reflects the animals in all of us."

"Should I call myself Fuzzy from now on?" Remus looked askance at Sirius.

"Moony." James said firmly. "And Peter can be…"

"I think Wormtail sounds cool." Peter squeaked. "What about you, Sev? Hookbeak sounds brilliant."

Sev frowned, thinking of his Animagus. While it did have a large beak reminiscent of his nose, he preferred something that wasn't so blatantly obvious.

Moony's howl dragged Sev out of his thoughts and back to the present. The others had already hurried off to join the werewolf, and Sev was running late.

Stretching his massive wings wide, the young eagle lifted off the ground, screeching its displeasure at having been left behind. Soon however he caught up to his companions.

Sev found it rather ironic that he, the worst flier among the Marauders after Pettigrew, was the one who had an avian Animagus form. The others were quite jealous however, and that pleased him to no end. Even his name was meant to rub it in.

 _Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Darkwing, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauder's Map._


End file.
